{"id":4,"count":2,"description":" \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\n \r\nPerpetrators of Domestic Violence\r\nThere is no typical domestic violence perpetrator, but psychologists have identified some common characteristics. Many abusers suffer from low self-esteem, and their sense of self and identity is tied to their partner. Therefore, if abusers feel they are somehow losing the victim, either through separation, divorce, emotional detachment, or pregnancy (fearing victims will replace love for them with love for a child), they will lash out. If victims \"leave\" through any of these methods, abusers feel they are losing power, control, and their self-identity. This is why it is particularly dangerous for victims during periods of separation or divorce from their partner. Abusers will often do anything to maintain control and keep the victim under control. This dynamic also makes escalating violence inevitable, as many victims must become emotionally unavailable, or must physically leave, in order to survive.\r\nWhile the public may think of domestic violence abusers as out of control, crazy, and unpredictable, the contrary is most often true. Use of psychological, emotional, and physical abuse intermingled with periods of respite, love, and happiness are deliberate coercive tools used to generate submission. Abusers may violently assault, then minutes later offer words of regret. Many will buy gifts of flowers, candy and other presents in order to win favor and forgiveness. This creates a very confusing environment for victims. Abusers may say they will never harm their partners again, and promise to obtain help or counseling. Often, these promises are only made to prevent victims from leaving. Without getting help, the violence will most likely recur. \r\nThe violence used by abusers is controlled and manipulative. Victims often can predict exactly when violence will erupt. Many law enforcement officers have commented on their surprise at finding significant evidence of a violent incident, a harmed victim, and a composed perpetrator casually speaking with officers as if nothing occurred.\r\nFinally, many victims describe domestic violence perpetrators as having a \"Jekyll and Hyde\" personality. Abusers often experience dramatic mood swings of highs and lows. They may be loving one minute, and spiteful and cruel the next. Abusers are frequently characterized by those outside the home as generous, caring, and good, and behave drastically differently in their home environment. Perpetrators of domestic violence are rarely violent to those outside of their domicile.\r\nWhy Victims May Stay\r\nVery few individuals would become involved in a relationship they knew to be violent. Domestic violence has subtle origins. What starts out as love, courtship and concern, may turn into domination, forced adherence to rigid sex roles and obsessive jealousy. Victims are not masochists. They do not enjoy being hurt, abused, battered and controlled. Victims may stay with someone who is abusing them for various reasons which include:\r\nFear of the abuser; \r\nLove; \r\nThreats to harm the victim, loved ones or pets; \r\nThreats of suicide; \r\nBelieving the abuser will take their children; \r\nReligious reasons; \r\nBelieving the abuser will change; \r\nSelf-blame; \r\nLimited financial options; \r\nBelieving that violence is normal; \r\nBelieving in the sanctity of marriage and the family; \r\nLimited housing options; \r\nBlaming the abuse on alcohol, financial pressures, or other outside factors; \r\nLow self-esteem; \r\nFear of the unknown, of change; \r\nIsolation; \r\nEmbarrassment and shame; \r\nBelieving no one can help; \r\nCultural beliefs; \r\nDenial; and \r\nPressure from friends and family to stay. \r\n\r\nSuggestions for Domestic Violence Survivors\r\nContact a local domestic violence program. These programs are in many communities around the country and can provide: counseling and support groups; information about legal options, the criminal justice system, and social services; shelter; attorney referrals; vocational counseling; safety planning; and case advocacy. Programs will assist victims regardless of their decision to stay in, or leave, the relationship. \r\nCreate a comprehensive safety plan. With assistance from a victim service professional, victims should create an individualized plan for safety in all situations, including a checklist of necessary items to take when leaving an abusive situation. For more safety planning suggestions, please refer to the GET HELP bulletin entitled, Domestic Violence: Safety Plan Guidelines. \r\nConsider legal options. In every state, domestic violence is a crime. For information on criminal penalties for abusers, and protections for victims through the criminal justice system, victims should contact local law enforcement or prosecutor's office. Reporting domestic violence incidents may raise safety concerns, so this option should be discussed with a victim service professional. Whether victims choose to report, it may be helpful to document evidence of abuse (i.e., pictures, witness statements, tape recordings), to be used in criminal proceedings, or in custody or divorce hearings. Every state also has a process for obtaining civil protective orders (also known as no contact orders, or restraining orders) that prohibit contact between an abuser and a victim. For more information on civil protective orders, victims should contact a local domestic violence program. \r\nIf Someone you Know is Involved in an Abusive Relationship\r\nBecome involved. Advise victims of ways you can help (i.e., providing housing, money, child care, etc.). Help victims locate shelter and resources. Offer to call attorneys or make appointments with social service agencies. Provide transportation to the appointments and support throughout the decision-making process. If you hear a violent incident occurring, call the police. \r\nDemonstrate concern. Tell victims the abuse is not their fault. Let them know you are afraid for their welfare and the welfare of their children. Many victims may not be able to see the harm violence does to their family until someone outside the family voices their concern. Hearing that others see the effects of violence on the children will often prompt victims to seek assistance. \r\nProvide support and encouragement. Victims should hear from friends and family that they are worth better treatment and deserve to be loved. Supportive positive messages may enable victims to find the strength within themselves to escape the violence. Understand if victims are reluctant to leave: staying may be a survival strategy. Let victims know you are willing to help when they are ready to ask for assistance. \r\nReferences\r\nTjaden, Patricia & Thoennes, Nancy. National Institute of Justice and the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, \"Extent, Nature and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey.\" (2000). U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, \"Intimate Partner Violence in the United States,\" December 2006.\r\nCatalano, Shannan M. \"Criminal Victimization, 2005.\" (Washington, DC: Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2006).U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, \"Family Violence Statistics,\" June 2005.\r\nBenson, Michael and Fox, Greer. \"When Violence Hits Home: How Economics and Neighborhood Play a Role,\" (Washington, DC: National Institutes of Justice, 2004).\r\nNicolaidis, Christina et al., \"Violence, Mental Health and Physical Symptoms in an Academic Internal Medicine Practice,\" Journal of General Internal Medicine 19 (2004).\r\nNational Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, \"Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Domestic Violence: 2003 Supplement,\" (New York: National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, 2004).\r\n\r\nBibliography \r\nBarnett, Ola W. and LaViolette, Alyce D. (1993). It Could Happen to Anyone. Newbury Park, CA: Sage Publications.\r\nBergen, Raquel Kennedy. (1998). Issues in Intimate Violence. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.\r\nBuzawa, E. and Buzawa, C. (1990). Domestic Violence: The Criminal Justice Response. Newbury Park, CA: Sage Publications.\r\nDutton, Donald G. (1995). The Batterer. New York, NY: Basic Books, Inc.\r\nMariani, Cliff. (1996). Domestic Violence Survival Guide. Flushing, NY: Looseleaf Law Publications, Inc\r\nStatman, Jan Berliner. (1990). The Battered Woman's Survival Guide: Breaking the Cycle. Dallas, TX: Taylor Publishing Company.\r\nWalker, Lenore. (1979). The Battered Woman. New York, NY: Harper & Row Publishers, Inc\r\nWhite, Evelyn C. (1994). Chain, Chain, Change: For Black Women in Abusive Relationships. Seattle, WA: Seal Press\r\nFor additional information, please contact:\r\nNational Center for Victims of Crime\r\n2000 M Street NW, Suite 480\r\nWashington, DC 20036\r\nPhone: (202) 467-8700\r\nFax: (202) 467-8701\r\nwww.ncvc.org \r\nNational Coalition Against Domestic Violence\r\n1120 Lincoln Street, Suite #1603\r\nDenver, CO 80203\r\nPhone: (303) 839-1852\r\nFax: (303) 831-9251\r\nTTY: (303) 839-1681\r\nwww.ncadv.org\r\nNational Domestic Violence Hotline\r\nPhone: (800) 799-SAFE (7233)\r\nTTY: (800) 787-3224\r\nwww.ndvh.org\r\nNational Resource Center on Domestic Violence\r\nPennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence\r\n6400 Flank Drive\r\nSuite #1300\r\nHarrisburg, PA 17112\r\nToll-free: (800) 932-4632\r\nPhone: (717) 545-6400\r\nFax: (717) 545-9456\r\nwww.pcadv.org \r\nNational Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence\r\n1025 Connecticut Ave., NW\r\nSuite #1000\r\nWashington, DC 20036\r\nPhone: (202) 429-6695\r\nFax: (202) 521-3479\r\nwww.nccafv.org\r\nContact your local prosecutor's office, law enforcement, or state Attorney General's office. Check in the Blue Pages of your local phone book under the appropriate section heading of either \"Local Government,\" \"County Government,\" or \"State Government.\"\r\n\r\nAll rights reserved.\r\nCopyright \u00a9 2008 by the National Center for Victims of Crime. This information may be freely distributed, provided that it is distributed free of charge, in its entirety and includes this copyright notice. \r\n\t \r\n\t \r\n\t \r\n\t\t \r\n\t \r\n\t \r\n\r\n\r\nThere tends to be a cycle of behavior, known as the cycle of violence, in abusive adult relationships. That cycle includes the tension-building, explosive, and tranquility\/honeymoon stages. The tension-building stage is described as the phase of the abusive relationship in which the abuser tends to engage in lower-level abuse, like pushing, insulting, and escalating demands for control. Simultaneously, the victim of abuse tends to try to appease the abuser in an effort to avoid worsening of the abuse. Acts of abuse escalate to a severe level during the explosive stage of intimate partner violence, manifesting as the most overt and serious acts of abuse and control, like slapping, punching, rape, or inhibiting the movements of the victim. The tranquility or honeymoon stage of the cycle of domestic violence tends to immediately follow the overt acts of aggression of the explosive stage and is usually characterized by the abuser seeming to be quite remorseful and apologetic for the abuse, making promises that it will never happen again and showering the victim with affection.\r\n\r\n\r\nIncident\r\nAny type of abuse occurs (physical\/sexual\/emotional)\r\nTension Building\r\nAbuser starts to get angry \r\nAbuse may begin \r\nThere is a breakdown of communication \r\nVictim feels the need to keep the abuser calm \r\nTension becomes too much \r\nVictim feels like they are 'walking on egg shells'\r\nMaking-Up\r\nAbuser may apologize for abuse \r\nAbuser may promise it will never happen again \r\nAbuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse \r\nAbuser may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the victim claims\r\nCalm\r\nAbuser acts like the abuse never happened \r\nPhysical abuse may not be taking place \r\nPromises made during 'making-up' may be met \r\nVictim may hope that the abuse is over \r\nAbuser may give gifts to victim\r\n \r\nThe cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of time in a relationship. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete. \r\n\r\nIt is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Often, as time goes on, the 'making-up' and 'calm' stages disappear. \r\n","link":"https:\/\/www.innerperspectivecounseling.com\/?cat=4","name":"articles","slug":"articles","taxonomy":"category","parent":0,"meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.innerperspectivecounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/categories\/4","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.innerperspectivecounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/categories"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.innerperspectivecounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/taxonomies\/category"}],"wp:post_type":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.innerperspectivecounseling.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fposts&categories=4"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}